V: Introducing our latest Infinite Cure Pill that cures everything!
N: If you have butt cramps, headaches, vomiting issues, or any other type of sickness or disease, it will be instantly cured the moment you put this pill in your mouth!
V: N here from Mars will now demonstrate how well the pill works because right now she has a headache.
(N eats pill)
N: Ah… I feel so much better.
V: We want to keep everyone safe, so here are some safety precautions. Do not take if you are pregnant, or if you have hearing issues.
N: Also, do not take if you live on the planet Earth, if you are blind, if you have toes, or if you have hair.
V: Ugh I have a butt cramp. I really need to take that pill.
(V grabs pill)
N: Don’t eat it!! You live on Earth!!!
(V eats pill anyway; dies instantly and falls down)
END OF AD
(Bow to audience)
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